Monday, 26 January 2009

happy chinese new year people :D

hahah
ohman i'm at home collecting angbaos
muahahahahah
i guess everyone is
hope you all collect alot alot alright ? :D


almost all of daddy's side have visited already
tomorrow we're visiting mummy's side
rawr.

royston bugged me the entire time he was here
argh
he enjoys my pain xP

















you are unbelievable
so ,
why dont you just walk out that door already






And as he spoke, he spoke ordinary words
Although they did not feel
For I felt what I had not felt before
And you'd swear those words could heal.
And as I looked up into those eyes
His vision borrows mine.
And I know he's no stranger,
For I feel I've held him for all of time.

And he said take my hand,
Live while you can
Don't you see your dreams lie right in the palm of your hand
In the palm of your hand.



"Where is the girl I fell in love with?"
You ask quietly, watching me
slow to a halt.

"She’s gone," I say decisively,
and closing my eyes I begin to spin
once more.



to you:
i'm f***ing sorry
please come back
is that what you want to hear ?
or would you rather i declare my undying love for your sorry ass ?
that's really too bad
cos love's dead as far as im concerned
so why dont you take my advice
leave
i already told you
i'm not much fun to be with
but you said you'd be able to handle it
and now you're turning on me
saying i'm not trying
when i told you i didn't want to try in the first place
so why dont you just leave
and save us all this pain
save your bullshit for someone who really cares
because i don't
you're really amazing
but i can't match up to you
iloveyou
i really do
but let's not go any deeper thn this
cause all that's going to happen
is shit and crap
yeah, i'm running away
too bad
i'm sorry
i truly am
but you deserve someone better
so go on and leave already
i dont need your pity

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 14:04

Sunday, 25 January 2009

and she meets her PrinceCharming
but she's turning him away
wt# ?!

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 17:26

Friday, 16 January 2009

hi , hello .
ohman . i realized i've been using the computer too much.
not good

anyways, today was alright.
neither good or bad.

bio was fun cause bev kept sneezing
ahahah ! evil yeah i knw

i still love you beverly!

she was allergic to the flowers
and we were doing bio SPA and were supposed to like draw and dissect the flower
and bev couldnt do anything cause she's allergic to thm
so she spent the whole lesson sneezing her nose off !

hahahah ! poor darling): but still quite hilarious :D

chem as usual cannot hear anything
i swear that my class is going to get her amic for her birthday or teacher's day
an early one , which ever one comes first =/

addmaths screw it
im dropping the dumb subject
argh.

training after school was as usual too
came home with legs that cant even stand up
or walk properly

im dead now.
bye(:

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 22:10

Thursday, 15 January 2009

ohman !
finally after such a long long long time
i went out with the clique
yeah i miss thm much
just that i've got a different schedule and alot more homework
tsk .

yesyes i admited it
im real sorry
i'll try to create time specially for YOU ALL

happy ?
lol hahahah !

i accomplished something good today(:
i made someone emo, smile :D

now why cant i do that fo myself =/

ah well.
im happy cause he's smiling.
never knew he was in such dumps.
but hey, he's still FOC ! [full of crap]
i guess somethings never change

ohman. you can like go check wht they've been putting on their blogs
shuxin's

jade's

dionne's


and im supposed to join.
lols
whatever that makes them happy(:

i love shuxin, jade, dionne, jinlin, zaneta and farah !

hahahahahah
i truly do(:

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 22:35

Wednesday, 14 January 2009

i wish....
i could turn back the time

it's not like me to be like this until now.

it's supposed to have ended last month.

it's supposed to have stopped by now.

it's not supposed to be like this.

i'm losing my faith.
i try hard not too.
i try to keep believing.
but it's just so hard.

i cant seem to smile like i used to.
im always plastered with a fake grin.
i dont want to be like this.
i want to laugh again.

i feel like i cant do anything.
like whatever i do just doesnt seem right
whenever i try to help
things just get worse.

it's not supposed to be like this.
what's going on?
the pounding wont stop
the nightmares keep coming back.

i dont want to run away anymore.
i want to face my fears
and be who i can be
not who they want me to be

but i cant.
quote:
i feel like there's giants of fears and failures
staring at me,
waiting to crush me.


but it's like no matter what
i just cant help backing down
no matter how much i try and tell myself it wasnt my fault
i'm still unable to forgive myself
for something i didnt do.

is there anyone out there?

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 21:16

Tuesday, 13 January 2009

i dont want to believe in love anymore
i'm burning all my love letters
tearing up those poems
throwing away those little cards
[except of course the ones that my lovable people have given me]

cause what i really want to know is:
what happens after 'i love you' ?

do you live happily ever after ?
i dont think so

i'm not going to believe in love anymore
because after all the 'i love yous'
it still came down to pain
tears
hurt
loss
hopelessness

i heard what happened whn she left
i cant stand to think what he's going through

i know what has happened to the two of them

i wish i didnt

my pain , i'll never wish on another

cynical ?

too bad.

im off on one of my hopeless resolution to stay away from love
i'll be smarter now.
i wont let them bad people get to me

muahahahahahahahah

yesyes getting random now
eitherways

i'm not going to believe in love anymore

i wont get fooled by it
it wont sneak up from behind me again

you know what ? im going to be a NUN

kidding. dont preach. i'll be good. i promise.





























dont worry around june i'll be back to normal
you'll see(:

cheers









and when you're gone
the words i need to hear
to always get me through the day
and make it okay
imissyou


that's what reminiscing about the past does to you
wont recomand it unless you're out for laughs
otherwise it's unhealthy.




missing you really bad D. really wish i could change it all. hope you're happy

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 00:52

Sunday, 11 January 2009

i had a nightmare the other night
i dreamt i had just finished school late one afternoon
and was walking out on my way home
and then i saw him there
leaning against the wall
wearing his favourite leather jacket
looking so casual

he came towards me
smiling that smile of his
but it didnt quite reach his eyes
then he took my books and said
"i've got the cancer, rissy."

and i just kept screaming
i kept denying it
that it wasnt possible
i kept screaming "no!"
and that he wasnt supposed to die

and he told me
it was either him or lin
and he'd rather him

and i kept running and running
and i didnt want to stop
i dont know why
i was so afraid of losing someone again
i knew i couldnt lose someone again

then the scene changed
this time it was her
she was standing at the top of a building
and i was standing behind
i screamed
telling her not too
like i knew what she was about to do
i yelled at her to come back

but all she did was to turn back and wave
before she literally walked off the building

i started running again
i felt trapped like i couldnt get out
i felt ivisible binds pulling at my legs
as i screamed for it to stop

i guessed i had forgotten all about it
until we talked about death tonight
no , it's not your fault
it's just my head being whacked up again
really dont worry(:

i guess i really couldnt stand losing anyone
even if it's time for him or her to leave
i'd still wont be able to take it
it's like i've got a special connection
and everytime someone i hold dear moves on
part of me dies along with it

after D went away
i realized i stopped dreaming
i realized i became a cynic that never existed in me before

after watching my childhood friend lost her mum
i realized i tried never to fight with my parents again
i realized i wanted to spend more time with them
instead of being 24/7 away

in a way it was good
in another it wasnt
either way i know
i wouldnt be able to take it if someone leaves
i'd just breakdown

and maybe it's not just me
maybe there are may out there who feels the same way
maybe everyone out there knows someone who feels
that live isnt worth living anymore
and that they are ready to die

and perhaps its just cause
that suicidal person just doesnt know how it'd affects others
maybe when they reach heaven
they'd realized that it wasn't what they wanted after all

who knows

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 22:49

Saturday, 10 January 2009

i just finished reading pehhan's blog :O
hahah ! now i cant stop smiling :D
i look at all the pictures and just cant help but be amazed by God's love
and that He's even touching those in africa ahahahah !
go check out the cool pictures
here


...

thn i deflate and think why isn't my side of the world like that
tsk . negative thinking. not good.
quote:
prepare the fields for His rain
so i gotta keep pushing(:
i found this really cool story(:
zo, you'd like it(:
i posted it at my other blog


anyways
yes i join the atheletics
its crazy, i knw
still owe msHan her letter =/
damn man. it's been almost a year already.
my legs cant move.
dumb mrZainal's fault ):
hahahah ! okay not really

i've got crap lot of homework
and insufficient sleep
ohmyword ! its only the first week cans ??
school's out to get us i tell you):

Pear's go off on sunday
she's going to newzealand to continue her studies):
all the best there(: it's been a great year with you

today is kangjing's birthday(: so....
happy birthday kangjing ! :DD
hope the last year was awesome for you and that this year would be even cooler :DD
and dont worry, i'll close your mouth for you(:
ahahahahahah !

oh i found out about this really cool thing in a really sick-sadistic-psychopathic way :DD
it's called bipolar disorder
or maniac disorder
lols , okay random
just thought you might like to knw
but i dont think anyone cares
hahahahah !
it's really cool in a sick-sadistic-psychopathic way
apparently people who have these can be damn high one minute nd super pissed this next
lols sick or what ?

okay, randomness fading
im going to bed cause im like omw tired

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 00:03

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

zomg crazy day today
obviously there are ups and downs
and tell you something
my imagination is going overdrive
omg. im like going maddddd

no more fairytales , im sticking to reality today

ohman.
now the dumb Ords song is stuck in my head...
and im swamped with homework
comeon its only the first week ):

i love you , you know that , don't you ? i love you

catchy tune they've got.

had english dignostic test today
i screwed it up.
the new teacher is irritating like nobody's business
i want msFud backkkkkkkk ):

this year sucks and it's only just started.
wth .

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 20:46

Tuesday, 6 January 2009

screw me all over
im being retarded again
dreamland has gone crazy):

it's not supposed to be this way
it's suppose to have ended already
it's january already
but they are all still here

help pretty please ?
i cant screw up this year
but they wont stop coming back
argh im going maddddddddddddddd

have you seen hell ?
i have
wanna know how's it like ?
its eff-ed up
and i hate it

why me ?
why not anyone else ?
why not someone who really deserve it ?
why not those people who should get it ?
why me ?

i cant carry on anymore
i want to run away
this sucks like hell

life's a bitch right now

and yeah i hate my life(:
cheers to that

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 17:18

Thursday, 1 January 2009

I was sure by now
God, You would have reached down
And wiped ours tears away
Stepped in and save the the day
But once again, I said, "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you,"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Labels: video

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 19:36

zomg !
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE !
hahah !
im like super please cause i survived another freaking year :D
alright mans !

hahahahs
yeahyeah
i like hear edward chi in my head
nagging me for some abnormal reason
shit.

so anyways
had tuition yesterday
harwroking yo !
hahahs thn headed over to my aunty's place to celebrate the new year
about 9+ left the place and went to look for my dear darling sammy
we were bigggggggg retards trying to find each other
shant say, cos wht we did was really super retarded
so found her at Siglap Center with her maid and her brother
and we were like arguing about how retarded we were
whn her brother suddenly cut in and said
"Okay, it was just a misunderstanding, so let's all stop fighting and have some fries."
what the hell ?
hahahahah ! yeah sam your brother is damn cute and random :D ahahah !

so after all that we finally headed back to my aunt's place
and she drank like maddddd
lol
headed to changi to see flares but only saw two ):
awww....
sent sam home around 1+
(she was !@@#$%%^&** high)
and reached home around 2+
hahahah !
had fun

now spoiler.
SCHOOL'S STARTING TOMORROW !
damn.... ):
can i like dont go back ?
rawr !

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 19:13