Wednesday 29 February 2012

It's pure chaos.

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 03:22

Tuesday 28 February 2012

My friend and I didn't know whether to be horrified or amazed by it.

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 02:32

Monday 27 February 2012

He dropped by with a surprise
A lovely, lovely surprise

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 21:05

Sunday 26 February 2012

It's a joke we share
That he behaves like and old man
And he needs his spoon to go with his teh

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 21:01

Fear \feer\ adj
a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc.,
whether the threat is real or imagined

My heart starts to pounds.
My chest hurts.
I feel dizzy and nauseous.
I feel as though I'm being asphyxiated.

When the fear doesn't stop,
I start shaking,
I barely contain my thoughts,
And nightmares terrorize me throughout the night.
I desperately want to escape to some place safe.

It is so tormenting ,
That I no longer fear death.
I embrace it and wish for it to hasten its speed to me.

Today,
I discovered it may not have been an asthma attack.
But a panic attack instead.
Made me think which was worse -
Dying from fear or dying from being suffocated?

Picture courtesy of Royston

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 05:32

Saturday 25 February 2012

He is the most amazing creature you will ever find.

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 21:00

Friday 24 February 2012

Something from the past
Something from today
And perhaps something from tomorrow

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 20:45

You cannot apologise for self-hatred,
The hate won't allow forgiveness.

I'm sorry.
I tried really hard.
But I can't do anything but apologise.
I always chase after the people who don't care.
I keep hurting the people who care about me.
I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry.
I keep hurting the people who care about me.
I always chase after the people who don't care.
But I can't do anything but apologise.
I tried really hard.
I'm sorry.


Picture courtesy of Royston

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 03:49

Thursday 23 February 2012

Are actually really beautiful.
You just need to look a little bit closer.

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 15:37

Wednesday 22 February 2012

"The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly"

- Owl City; Vanilla Twilight

I'm tired of playing tit-for-tat
It's ridiculously childish.

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 15:26

Tuesday 21 February 2012

And he spent the whole night telling me that I belonged in the kitchen.

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 23:21

Courage is the ability to see things through.

I never had the courage to say what I really think.
So I wrote, or rather typed it out.
And this was what I said:

"What happened to us that now we can barely stand each other?

What happened to no matter what happens the most important thing was that we had each other?

What happened that now you don't hug me, don't kiss me, don't want to see me because you just saw me 5 minutes ago?

What happened to us that we don't talk to each other anymore?

We don't share secrets with each other.

We don't share secret smiles.

We don't have anymore inside jokes.

We don't exchange nonsense.

We don't flirt with each other.

We don't desperately want to see each other, hug each other, kiss each other, touch each other.

We fill our lives up with everything else, leaving each other behind.

I miss the 'us' where we didn't play mind-games, we didn't have a 'tit-for-tat' system.

I miss the 'us' where we could joke about everything and anything.

I miss the 'us' where we'd turn to each other for support first before we looked for anyone else.

I miss the 'us' where we said, "No matter what happens, it'll be okay, because we still have each other."

I miss the 'us' where I look forward to seeing you, not dread it because you have something else more important than me on later on.

I miss the 'us' where I was your special baby and we have sugar names for each other even though we said it was stupid at the start.

I miss you telling me that you love me, and have me reply you that I loved you too.

I miss you hugging me and apologising to me when you made me cry.

I miss how you'd spoil me silly, always give in to me, always letting me win.

I hate how sour this relationship has become. And I hate that it feels like we fighting for different things now. When did it ever happen? When did it start? How did it go wrong? What went so wrong that whenever we saw each other, we just wanted it to be over with so we can get on with other things?

I know I did a thousand and one things wrong through the whole relationship.

I made you feel under-appreciated. I took you for granted over many things. I may have inadvertently made you feel unwanted. I never meant it that way. I'm sorry that I've made you feel that way.

I'm not good with saying my emotions out, I turn to writing to let out my emotions. But even then, every word is guarded and I barely manage to convey what I truly feel, just because I'm afraid of getting hurt.

But I forget, by not doing so, I hurt you, and I set myself up for more pain when you retaliate because you cannot understand why I keep refusing to acknowledge what you've done for me.

I'm tired of guarding my heart from you, when you're the one whom I'm not supposed to guard it from.

I'm tired of treating this relationship as a battlefield.

I want to come to you when I'm drained and tired and have you hug me and tell me "It's okay." not treat you like one of those people who are out to hurt me.

I want to whine and complain to you and pour out all the injustice done to me by the world and have you tell me "You can beat them. Don't let them get you down. You've got me behind you."

I want to be the center of your world again."

After thinking about it for awhile
I clicked send
Hoping my feelings would reach you
My desperation
My pain
My hope for the both of us.

And you told me you read it
And you said

On x/xx/12, at 9:16 PM, X wrote:
> i hope what you're saying is from the heart

As I felt my lungs caved in on me again
And I try block out my emotions
I wondered if you still remember this:



And all our dreams that came and went with it.

This isn't good for my health.
Not at all.

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 19:27

Monday 20 February 2012

It was fun
And I had a blast

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 03:20

Sunday 19 February 2012

I dug it up and realised I never put it up.
So there!

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 03:06

Saturday 18 February 2012

Lately I have been having supper with my brother and his friends.
Hmm...

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 03:04

Friday 17 February 2012

My extensive collection of books.
Took me pretty much 18, going on to 19 years to collect.

Picture courtesy of Marcus

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 02:47

Thursday 16 February 2012

Don't ever buy prata from here
Especially if its supper
They give it cold
Unless you're ordering their special pratas
However, their Teh-C was really good

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 04:56

Wednesday 15 February 2012

I haven't a clue what's it called
But I got addicted to it
-Stares accusingly at the culprit-
So now I need to get some more

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 22:37

Tuesday 14 February 2012

...In my tea.
I got you for a moment, didn't I?

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 23:44

I honestly look back and smile
Don't ruin that



If you said you were sorry
I'd be a fool all over again
And take you back
But your pride won't let you
And your ego's too big
And instead of being a man
You chose to run away.

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 01:27

Monday 13 February 2012

That's what I made for Valentine's Day
And it's the last time I shall celebrate this holiday.
Henceforth, like my birthday,
I honestly do not wish to celebrate this anymore.

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 23:59

Sunday 12 February 2012

Basically you brought what ever you didn't want
And lay it out for other people to take
Literally "One man's rubbish is another man's treasure".

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 23:16

Friday 10 February 2012

I had an amazing night-out with him.
It was sublime.

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 23:27

Thursday 9 February 2012

We discovered we both had museum fetishes.

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 00:50

Wednesday 8 February 2012

It was awesome (:
Thanks to the guy who brought it back for me (;

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 10:41

Tuesday 7 February 2012

The sauce was awesome.
The rest was... well... alright?

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 10:40

Monday 6 February 2012

I suppose it is a quicker way to finish your meal...

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 10:30

Sunday 5 February 2012

We went to Little Ice Cream Kafe
For some good ice cream
And for me to catch up with them
While we had ice cream, I told them of the stupid things I did
We laughed.
Then we watched Hell Boy Part 2 on mute with Taylor Swift blasting out of the speakers.
We laughed even more
As we realised that the music actually could fit the fighting scenes in the movie.

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 22:41

I embrace you
Although you are not that nice of a memory

It feels somewhat like after a heavy shower
With the sun peaking out weakly from behind the clouds
It's a very nostalgic feeling
With a bit of regret and relief

After thinking about it for so long
I realised that I was only holding on for the sake of holding on
Love was already lost, long gone in fact, from this relationship
Ever since you and I begin to shut each other out from each others' head

When did the love started disappearing?
I don't really know
But I know I made a lot of mistakes along the way
I tried to fix it, but maybe it was already too late
Or maybe I just don't have the energy, courage or strength to try harder

It was amazing being with you
A mind-blasting roller-coaster ride
But like a roller-coaster
One ride too many, and you'll start to get sick of it

Ash told me that there were two sides of the story
And that I should go see what the other side was first
Before passing any judgement
I can't do that, I'm too tired to try again

You and I were two very different people to begin with
It's astounding how we could last a whole year together
Without grabbing a knife and shoving it into each others' body
It's amazing how we could stand each other

I'm not
The kind of girl that you want
And you're not
The kind of guy that I want
We were mismatched in every single way
Too blinded by the fun and passion we felt
To think things through properly
We were never ever meant to be

I know if we give in now
Everyone is going to say, "I told you so!"
But I'd rather face that then to keep hurting the both of us
And if they really cared
That thought wouldn't even cross their minds anyway

I'm ending this now
Because I don't want things to get uglier then it already is
I don't want it to get to the point
Where we barely speak to each other as friends
Because we are too disgusted with each other

I am sorry
That I'm leaving you right now
When your life is in a mess
Somehow, I always leave when people's lives are in a mess

It wasn't an easy decision to make
Honestly, I've been thinking about it since you left for Australia to settle your school things
I didn't make a snap decision
Neither was it a rash one

I had sleepless nights
Missed my meals
Smoked way too much
And pretty much brought gloomy weather to Singapore

Till now I still am

I do thank my lucky stars
That somehow I've managed to find friends who care for me
Who go out of their way for me
Who are cheering me up as I figure out how to celebrate Valentine's Day as a single again

It's been quite awhile since I was single
And honestly, it scares the hell out of me
I don't know where to start from
What is a single person supposed to do to have fun
I've forgotten how to have fun without being attached

Bestf called me a player
But I honestly know that it isn't true
I just want someone who would be able to care and love me
Cause everyone knows that's a herculean task

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 03:18

Saturday 4 February 2012

It was a simple act of keeping me company
And giving me the chance to rant out my pent-up emotions
With no judgements
And he barely knew me

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 03:12

Friday 3 February 2012

He was confused as to why I would take pictures of empty plates.
"It's to show I had a good meal!" was my reply.
A good meal and great company!

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 03:05

Thursday 2 February 2012

We filmed
It was tiring
But we had good fun
And great company

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 03:03

Wednesday 1 February 2012

So we sat around
And wasted our time away
Just because of a single person's selfishness

Labels: In 365 Days

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 22:14