Thursday 30 April 2009

amusingly hilarious things are running in my mind
like right now
funny things like how people can
declare their undying love for someone
and after awhile you don't see them together anymore

likeeeeeeee hmmm...
let's use the suicidal one shall we ?
[yes i'm evil today(:]
remember how he threatened to kill himself ?
and how two days later he found another girlfriend ?
hahah
oh i wonder
just how much truth were in the words he said

cyncical much.

but i got a naggy feeling about it.
hah
but surprisingly they're still together
i feel like being mean and saying something horrible
but i shan't
cause it's not nice hahah
all the best
go get married when you're 25
have a few kids
and quickly die
hahahah !

gahhh old rubbish
*takes a shovel and buries it*

anyway i sent in my memoir essay
D: im nervous like hell.
hope they like it hahah
i've seen the other past writers' stuff
and they're brilliant ?!
gahhhhhhhhh i was so nervous
that when i was filling up the entry form
i kept typing wrongly D:
ughhhh. pure genius nerissa

music update
White Lies aren't that bad
but they're not outstanding either
unless you're a sucker for posh british accent
i dont recommand you buy their disc
or get their songs
BUT
afew notable songs would be Death, You Still Love Him and Farewell to the Fairground
their lyrics are great
but their tunes aren't worth a thought
hahah harsh much.
im sticking to my Ordinary Boys(:

discovered a new genre while surfing the web
from UK too [you can't blame me!]
its called grime :D
hahah think of Lady Sov
something like that
try Chipmunk and N-Dubz too
Chipmunk's Chip Diddy Chip and Who Are You
N-dubz's Strong Again and Don't Get Nine
honestly N-dubz are better than Chipmunk
but maybe that's cause Chipm.'s new
so there's a thought [hmmmm....]

right shall study S.S now
D:

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 19:22

Wednesday 29 April 2009

have you ever wished that you could delete memories that you don't wish to remember ?

finished maths tuition D:
the monster teacher was nice today :O
but she was late :DD tsktsk.
hahah

supposed to be stuying geog...
ohwait i did. =/ lol okay
brain dead now

tell you something weird.
was thinking about edward today for some fag reason
was contemplating on whether i should sms him
just to annoy him or not
when he made life easier and messaged me instead
hahah shows just how strong our husband-wife relationship is :DD
now he's going to murder me :DD
hahah

got annoyed by robin today
hahah he needs to go IMH people
retarded sister. :P

geog extra lesson was soooooo lateeeeeee D:
supposed to be 3pm-3.45pm
msHid came in at like 3.45pm ?!
zomg
ended at like 5+ was brain dead
and dragging my ass home

kena spotted by kaisiang :O LOL ?
he said i looked like i was pissed hahah
if i was its probably robin's and edward's fault
teehee
right off to repair my brain now
submitting my essay tomorrow hahah
procrastinating not good

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 21:52

Tuesday 28 April 2009

this kid here is stressed out man .

she needs to de-stress asap D:

screw the retarded exams
DD:
plus im sick
rawr !
even the weather's not on my side.
either its freaking hot or freaking cold
rawr !

screwed bio test today
argh.
S.S teacher is a mean jerk
we're all going to fail our socialstudies
i need to pass my emaths
well
i need to pass all my subjects
or im screwed.

right , nerissa , you need to study hardddddddddd

buuuuuuuuttt on the nice side of life
imma genius :D
i completed my memoir essay yesterday
i've got two more days to submit it
now it's with mrsGopal for checking
yeah imma genius completing it two days before submission
andandand im even more genius
mugging like madddddd i still can help dien do his homework
wth ?!
he owe me a BIGBIG lunch
muahahahah

was smsing robin the whole day
LOL i realized three bigbigbig things
i very long never talk to him
i very long never see him
i can actually miss someone as retarded as him :DD
hahah awwww
i miss my bro- ... wait... sister sorry :DD hahah

another big exciting new is that
my cousin made it into cambridge
smart or what ? :DD
im going to miss him
well annoying him actually :DD hahahah
plus he annoys me more larhhs :P

edits
people...
i think you can all officially say
that nerissa tan has lost her life man

i realized i have been studying non-stop [almost]
and i THINK its supposed to be good ....
i think... im not so sure man... :D
hahah
anyone going UK ? D:
please oh please oh please if you are
i want Lady Sov's CDs man....... DDDDD:
pinky promise i'll worship the freaking ground you walk on

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 18:59

Tuesday 21 April 2009

i hate you so bad
seriously
i aint joking
i ain't smiling

must you screw me everytime we meet ?
must you leave me crying my freaking eyes out everytime we part ?
i said i was sorry
what more you want from me ?

you keep picking on me for no damn good reason !
do you know how much it hurts ?

people change
people mature
everyone does
you cant seriously expect me to stay that small girl you knew from then

it hurts when you cant accept me for who and what i stand for
it hurts when you think that i'm just like them
it hurts when you look at me that way

i dont know what you expect of me
but it sure as hell isn't what i am
if anything,
i'm not like them
i wouldn't make the same mistakes as them
so why don't you stop judging and look beneath the surface

i hate you so bad
screw you and your thinking

i remember when you told me 'true beauty comes from within'
i supposed it held a bit of truth
but its who i've become
wont you understand ?
i hate that look you gave me when you said that
i hate it so bad
i hate being scolded by you everytime we bump into each other
i hate the look you always give me nowadays
i hate you so bad
must you always do this to me ?

do you derive joy from seeing me breaking down ?
are you happy when you see me upset ?
i hate you K
i hate you so bad

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 22:55

stop waiting
to start smiling
forget yesterday's mistakes
you can't go back
ignore tomorrow's maybe's
it ain't here yet
live for today
treasure every moment
because happiness is the journey
not the destination

so,

work, like you don't need the money
love like you've never been broken before
dance like nobody's watching
sing like no one can hear
and live as though heaven's on earth

just a little something random hahah
my way of apologising for being emo and depressed the past few days
tell you another random thing
im so sick
i just finished one whole box of tissues
hahahah
quote zoie
'aint i fly ?' :D

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 18:56

i'm freaking sick D:
i think that dumb shuxin passed her flu to me
was hot and cold all day
now i feel like death DD:

If I were a boy even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted
And go drink beer with the guys

And chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
And I'd never get confronted for it
'Cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
So they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I'd put myself first
And make the rules as I go
'Cause I know that she'd be faithful
Waiting for me to come home, to come home

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man

I'd listen to her
'Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
'Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake
Think I'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
And you don't understand, oh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man

You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
'Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 18:19

Monday 20 April 2009

i got into grace's livejournal :DD
hahah FINALLY ?!

and crap she made me cryyyyyyyy
ass. not really larhhs hahah

right.

im sorry
im sorry for making you worry
im sorry for making you upset
im sorry for doing things without thinking and hurting you in the process
iloveyou lots
-bigbearhug

it seems like all i can say is 'sorry'
its a real small word to describe what i feel totally
if there were any other word that could describe how i feel
i'd use it instead
but there isn't and all there is, is 'im sorry'
i wont do it again , i swear
and promise
pinky promise in fact

i can't change the fact that i did it
all i can change is how do i continue from here
give me a little more time
and stick around
im hoping things'll get better
and i hope you'll be there to see it
cause you know and i know
just how much you mean to me

not only is this post for you bigkid
but for everyone else i've hurt too
through my actions and words and what-nots
i'm sorry ):
iloveyou always

Will you listen to my story?
It'll just be a minute
How can I explain?

What ever happened here
Never meant to hurt you
How could I cause you so much pain?

When I say I'm sorry
Will you believe me?
Listen to my story
Say you wont leave me
When I say I'm sorry
Can you forgive me?
When I say I'll always be there
Will you believe
Will you believe me?

All the words that I come up with
They're like gasoline on flames
There's no excuse
No explaination
Belive me
If I could I'd undo what I did wrong
I'd give away all that I own

When I say I'm sorry
Will you believe me?
Listen to my story
Say you wont leave me
When I say I'm sorry
Can you forgive me?
When I say I'll always be there
Will you believe
Will you believe me?

If I told you
I've been cleaning my soul
And if I promised you
I'll regain control
Will you open your door
And let me in?
Take me for who I am
And not for who I've been?

Who I've been...

When I say I'm sorry
Will you believe me?
Listen to my story
Say you wont leave me
When I say I'm sorry
Can you forgive me?
When I say I'll always be there
Will you believe?

When I say I'm sorry
Can you forgive me?
When I say I'll always be there
Will you believe?

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 20:29

zomg
i love you so freaking much retard !
hahah aww you know who the bloody hell you are ass.
thanks for making me laugh and cry for no dumb reason

screwy the whole day
i officially hate physio
was upset the whole day cause of it
hurt and tiring like hellllllll D:

thanks shuxin , jade , dionne for trying to ease my paranoid mind
and for sticking around even when i went screwy on you

have another follow-up on wednesday
and another session on monday
the doctor is going to teach me how to runnnnnnn again
fag. hahah
i dont wanna go D:

grace is back ! :D
yay ! i want my chocolates :DD

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 19:08

Sunday 19 April 2009

right. back from everywhere
done with everything
hah it's gonna be a long long long post.
so just skip this blog cause i'll be ranting crap.

managed to get to catechism despite sleeping at 2++ talking to dien
found out something tht i'm not happy with
but im not going to care
cause it's not worth it

lol daryl was also late anyway
so went together
had youth mass after class
P&W sucked unfortunately
but the Homily rocked :D
cause Father Simon did it :D hahah
he's so funnnn larhh please
rock on Father hahah

had lunch with jinrennnnnnnnnnnnn :D
hahah that ass cannot let me eat in peace man
annoying monkey

after that was like boreddddddd
so ran to Cornerstone
:DD smart ? i think so too
lol
and i quote jeremy
it was AWESOME !
hahah
everyone was surprised to see me
hah since i AWOL for so long
but they understand awwww

cried at both session D:
fag.
is it supposed to be good ?
ugh. faggort.

eitherways
both masses were AWESOME [QoP's and Cornerstone's]
ohman i sound like jeremy.....
hahah
i want an abundant life people !
overflowing with everything
A nation of firm purpose You keep in peace; in peace for its trust in You [NAB]
You keep him in perfect peace, whose mind stayed on You, because he trusts in You [NKJV]
- Isaiah26:3


'How do you know that Jesus is alive? Have you seen it?'
'I know because of faith'
'What's faith?'
'Belief'
'but how can you believe in something that you've never seen?'
'Because blessed are those who have not seen and have believed'
- John21:29


it's like that story about the absence of God can ? hahah
it's here
if you haven't read it before

forgive me, im high now hahah
quoting stuff from the bible :P

it's hard to stand and fight
when all you feel like doing
is to run and hide
but i made a promise
i swore not to run again
but it's hard to keep such a promise
when things aren't going your way

so tell me what to do
i'm trying and trying
but i just can't go on anymore
i'm knocking on the door
that's refusing to open
Lord, should i just give up and quit
or am i supposed to keep knocking ?

i'm shaking inside
facing the giants staring down at me
i'm not like david who had his sling
i'm just me, trying to do what You like
in this time of need, i'm turning to You
don't leave me now, i won't make it
carry me on Your back, cause i'm falling

i try to remember my rock, pebbles and sand
but life's funny that way
i think i've forgotten where's the line
and all i'm seeing
is the greyness in between
one by one the are closing me in
they've clipped my wings
refusing to let me fly

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 16:32

oh screw you and your egoistic self
i dont give no shit no more man

rawr.

had a longlonglong day
went over to CSCC to catch prayers
cause for where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them - Matthew18:17
hahah thanks jeremy and jasmin(:
yeah so now im re-spiritualized and re-emotionalized and all
LOL

the fact still remains im screwed
hahah *keep praying*
ahwell
this kid here shall study harddddddd to get those points for SP
muahahah

imma dead gurl walking
shit.

you knw what ?
if you like her thn say
cause maybe we aren't meant to be anyway
we're drifting apart
and i'm not gonna let you make a fool out of me
you can talk to anyone you like
you can flirt with any girl you see
cause let me tell you something
i really dont give a shit
i fell for you only to fall right back out and fall for another guy
confused ? it's quite simple really
i dont really like you anymore
so you've got two choices
either do something about that
or get out of my life
honestly the second option would be better

ahhhhhhhh i got to call dien before he kills meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee !

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 00:24

Thursday 16 April 2009

people , i am officially sleep deprived .
help.

ohohoh
i found my diaryyyyyyyy
muahahah
told you i'd find it :DD
so my cross-bred wife didn't eat and digest it after all :P
dumb wife(:

teachers are like loading homework on us
our structured time-tables are starting soon
rumour has it that we are going to have intensive CL lessons
in hopes that our pathetic chinese grades would improve
and apparently its going to be like 4 periods at one shot
shit.
i am soooo screwed.

the past few days i've been sleeping at like 12+++
trying to chiong homework
hahah mumsy says if i continue leading this lifestyle
i'm going to have permenant eye bags
then everyone will call me panda ? hahah
ohwell

do something quick boy
cause im fading fast
soon i wont be there for you
when you wanna fall


im like having random thoughts now.....
ohman. i realise i day-dream too much
anyone agrees ? lol
here's a random thought
falling out of love , just to fall back in again

aww
i remembered a heart-to-heart talk
i once had with *censored cause he'll murder me for it*
he asked me like somethings that i never really answered directly, like :

"how do you keep smiling, even when you're really upset?"
"how do you love wholeheartedly after being hurt by so many guys?"
"why won't you cry when you're sad?"
"how do you stand up from a bad fall?"
"you're really brave, you know?" [i answered "no ?! since when ?!"]
"will you ever die for someone?" [i answered "maybe, it depands."]

hahah i have some really fun-ney, caring, darling friends man
maybe one day i'll answer them
but for now it's a secret shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :P
hahaha !

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 19:51

Wednesday 15 April 2009

let me tell you something
i had a fag nightmare again last night
it was the usual one i always and normally have during the dec holidays
wt# ?!
ohman.
whyyyyyyyy ? you aren't supposed to appear till then
it was mixed up toooooooo
i couldn't figure out whats what
and i woke up crying ?!
rawr !

its was horrible and scary
so i wont talk about it
ohman

and ROBINTEO !
i friggin dreamt you were dying ?!
wth ?
ass man you
you owe me big big one
scaring me when we see each other is one thing
now you wanna freak me out when im sleeping ?!
argh, screw you and your dead face rawr !
thanks to you im upset again argh.

Knock Knock
When life had locked me out, I turned to you
so open the door.
You’re all I need right now its true.
Nothin' works like you.


DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD:

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 21:32

Sunday 12 April 2009

happy birthday daddy ! :D
happy easter people ! :D
i want my chocolates

hahah
anyway had dinner at Prego to celebrate papa's birthday
lol it was nice
except for this couple sitting behind us
they kept talking so loudly
so it wasn't me who eavesdropped
they were the ones talking loudly
and they were like showing off and all
trying to impress each other
but coming off really hypocritical to me
lol

im not crazy or whatever ?!
that was a damn retarded thought can ?
retard

anyways stayed home to keep daddy company
but went out at 4+ for church
hahah
not much larhhs
the whole day was brunch and dinner lol

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bi-polar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get off this ride


i've forgotten again
it's not even november but i'm having nightmares agian
bits and pieces of things come back to me
i dont remember much
but enough to understand
does anyone know what happened ?
cause i don't

i owe you pictureeeeeeees :D
me and sharon
chinese class got broing :P
evil right ?!

from left : gong-gong, ma-ma, eugene, sharon, me, royston, priscilla, ernest and marcus

lookieeeeeeeeeeeeee ! my new boyflennnnnnnnnn :DD
hahah cute rights ?! :P

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 22:48

Saturday 11 April 2009

Wake up to a sunny day, not a cloud up in the sky
Then it starts to rain, my defenses hit the ground
And they shatter all around, so open and exposed
I found strength in the struggle
Face to face with my trouble

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken

Little girl don't be so blue
I know what you're going through
Don't let it beat you up
Heaven knows that getting scars
Only makes you who you are
Only makes you who you are
No matter how much your heart is aching
There is beauty in the breaking
Yeah

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken

Better days are gonna find you once again
Every piece will find its place

When you're broken, when you're broken

When you're broken in a million little pieces
And you're trying but you can't hold on anymore
Every tear falls down for a reason
Don't you stop believing in yourself
When you're broken
Oh, when you're broken
When you're broken
When you're broken


daddy gave me this really loud whistle thingy.
it's not really a whistle
more like an alarm
the kind where you pull out the plug and it shrieks like nobody's business
he wants me to bring it along when i go out
for protection
hahah aww daddy
a little crazy but thankyou
loveya papa
hahah

ohshuddup edward. i know what you're thinking
you too robin *pokes the both of you*
rawr !
went out with vyann today
just me and her
the rest couldn't make it D:
had japanese at cathy
hahah
talked and catched up with each other
missyou loads darling

went home after that
at the bus stop saw this group of people
all wearing yellow shirts
they were promoting kindness in S'pore
hahah all we had to do was to wear this yellow sticker
and it's not like we had to pay for it or anything
it was free
and people were still reluctant to wear it
wt# ?
its just a sticker fag's sake
would it kill you to just stick it on ?

bought a new ear piece :D
hahah the other one gave out on thursday
and i was deprived of quality music for two whole days
okay exageration much but it's music we're talking about man !
hahah

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 20:40

fag !!
i realise i lost my diary for REAL !
argh !
my life is screweddddddddddd like hell ?!
damn man . everything inside ?!!!
fag ! test , SPA and whatever crap and shit i have !
ohno D:
God , don't pull this this prank on me
i'm stressed enough with the exams and tests and O's coming up

ugh.
i swear ! i packed my room already !
its freaking neat like nobody's business
SWEAR !
and i still can't freaking find it ! DDDDDDDDDD:

huhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
anybody seen it by any chance ??? D:
april fool's over fagdammit !

argh.
anyways , im freaking tired
T-I-R-E-D
to the max.
huh. im not done studying
two friggin SPAs on monday
wt# ?!
the teachers are smart.
): CL O's are approaching too damn fast
exams are like just around the corner
which means term 2's ending soon
which also means term 3's starting
fagggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg. D:
this year passes by too friggin' fast.

is there a pause button ?
can i hit stop , maybe ?
i don't wanna move from here
it's getting too hot to handle
i wanna runaway again
faggers

and i thought my depression cured itself
figures.
it always comes back with a vengence.
fight hard , stay strong , holding on .

okay.
time to look on the bright side
....
which doesn't really seem bright...
but ahwell
i'm starting on shuxin's retarded 300-page story / birthday present
but am currently moodless and having a writer's block
not exactly
i've got a clue on what to write
but just can't really put it down to words
cause it's all over the place
and i can't get the words to describe the feelings and moods

shuxin
be damn touched woman
that im going through this
hahaha !

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 00:00

Friday 10 April 2009

im suddenly very into the UK's music ha
grime more specifically
that's wht they call it
this guy's called Chipmunk
cute name or what ?
hahaha catchy tune too
gahhhhhh.

spent the day at my neighbour's house
caleb is so cuteeeeee :D
going out again soon
D: ugh.

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 18:14

Wednesday 8 April 2009

i heard a dirty little secret today
tsk. someone has been b****ing about me. :O
it's been a long long while since someone did that !
wow. LOL hahah yeah im maddddddddd
now that's fun
like i care about what you really think ? hah !

rights. prayer meeting was alright.
i was late. :X ohshuddup
school was fine
got our exam timetables
geog and SS on the same day ?! are they madddd ?!
had athletics but since my leg screwed up
i had a studying session with freddy instead
thankyou ! :D
reach home about 7+ ?
lol nothing much larhhs today

it's one of those boring days where you really just wanna jump back into bed and go back to dreamland

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 22:14

Tuesday 7 April 2009

i'm still crying myself to sleep every night.
but you wouldn't know about that, would you ?

NAPFA today D:
couldn't do cause my leg decided to screw itself up
LMAO every station i went to i got picked on
unlucky manssss the station masters all picked on me
do i look like i'm fun to pick on ?
okay shuddup , dont answer that.

had 4 free periods today HA !
english and emaths teachers were absent ! yay man
english not so larhhs cause mrsGopal's alright
but emaths zomg. dont talk about it.

i just want things to go back to normal.
i don't want to deal with things i can't handle.
i wish i never remembered anything
i wish i was normal.
is that too much to ask for ?

having prayer meeting for the first time in a long while tomorrow
hope it'll be alright hahah
and that everyone will turn up *hopeful*
hahah i suppose im still trying to get my life back on track
like finally after two whole freaking years
hahahah well, i'll figure it out somehow

beverly and all were dreaming about our future
hahah she says radhika looks like a career woman
tabitha looks like a mean old woman / teacher
and me ? LOL some crazy free-spirited person
hahaha hilarious she says its cause im always so bo-chap
ohman. is it that obvious ? :X teehee !

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 21:08

Monday 6 April 2009

a love letter written
to my darling owner :

please dear owner
make your friggin' mind up
you've been an emotional roller coaster since *inserts a whole chuck of vulgarities* SL
and you haven't been the same
i suppose he should be friggin' honoured
that he caused so much shit in you
that you haven't been the same

i guess it's tough trying to let go
of the memories that make you, you
and keep the secrets you keep
it's a heavy weight you carry
and please open your huge big eyes even bigger
there are many who care

life hasn't been fair to you
still you've got so much more to live for
it's a major choice you got to make
it's either you let them know
and let them help you
or you can go on this way
it's hard, it isn't easy
but you're strong , you'll make it

i know you struggle to remember
the memories come back in bits and pieces
but you can make out what had happened back then
you'll probably die if you truly knew the extent of it
i think you've forgotten again

so my dear sweet owner
make the right choice
don't keep denying the truth
however ugly it is.

love always,
your heart

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 20:52

Lord, i speak the words of Your Son when i say, 'if it is possible, let this cup pass from me; yet, not as i will, but as You will.'

had physio today
painful and scary. im so tired right now
both mentally and physically
the pain at my hip is back. ughhh.

grace left already.
went to see her off
i want chocolates and New Zealand :D
i'll miss you loads(:

maths test todays wasn't too bad
it was alright
but maybe i could have done better
ah well

freddy said im very different from the normal Singsporeans
he says im very relaxed and easy-going and carefree
like after tests and stuff
everyone will be like ohshit this and ohcrap that
im the only one who will go 'ahwell, its over.'
he asked why and i told him
'cause i know i tried my best. no point worrying.
anything after that is all up to Him'
HA ! i think everyone's gonna like panic now
seeing how bo-chap i am :P
but he says im like one-of-a-kind
hahah

study session with him on wednesday *makes a mental note*
cause of physics [zainal should be proud of me(:]

im still drained from yesterdays nallur road session
which is surprising
cause normally i'd be full of energy after a night's rest
i think it got to me this time round
cause we were made to identify with Jesus
as He made His journey to be crucified
and i think it really affected me alot
another good-bad thing

in a way it restored my faith
in another i feel like i've hit a dead end again
confused ?
yesh , me too.

There are days when I regret it
The things I said to you
I put my trust in no one
It broke my heart and I blamed it on you
You were kind and oh so gentle
But I refused to see
That someone like you existed
I was somewhere in denial
While you were loving me

I cried myself to sleep last night
When I woke up
There were tear stains on my pillow
It hurt so much to sacrifice what I gave up
Without you in my life
I will always feel lonely
Losing the love
From someone like you

Not a day goes by without something
Reminding me of you
The truth is that I miss you
It gets so hard not being with you
There are times when I go crazy
In the twilight of the night
How I long to be your woman again
There's pain that I hold
That will not let me go

I cried myself to sleep last night
When I woke up
There were tear stains on my pillow
It hurt so much to sacrifice what I gave up
Without you in my life
I will always feel lonely
Losing the love
From someone like you

I don't wanna make this too hard
But I just wanna be where you are
In your life, by your side, forever

I cried myself to sleep last night
When I woke up
There were tear stains on my pillow
It hurt so much to sacrifice what I gave up
Without you in my life
I will always feel lonely
Losing the love
From someone like you

the dumb chorus is like echoing in my head
lol , random i know
hahah

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 19:52

Sunday 5 April 2009

today was drainingggggggggggggg
but thn again any day at nallur road is =/
its good and bad i guess
was in church the whole day
seriously
9am Confi class
me and daryl met up again
for once we were early :D
yay us man(:
hahah

ended at 10.20 or so
ran home to get my school books
and thn to sheng siong to buy chocolate of the kids :D
hahah reached back church at 11 to teach the primary2s
fun and sad stuff happened
- stuart didnt come today D:
- wayne was quiet for once ! :D
- i realised there's a boy called 'mark gay' in my class *smiling innocently*

hahahah
class ended at 11.30 waited for stefanie to finish mass
apparently one of the readings was 15mins long :O
thn went to lunch with her and aloysius at kfc
and it started rain like !@#$
thankGod for aloysius' mum who sent us back to church
hahah studied abit till 3+ thn headed to nallur road

it was draininggggggg , i swear
the last session *ahem* cried
this time my friggin turn
ohman it's like two whole weeks of shit just came out during the sharing
quote rajev "when you're down with shit, you rise up with the smell"
bwahahah
he is hilarious
thn after sharing we broke up into mini groups to pray over each other
i was with olivia , catherine and rajev [?!]
and when olivia was praying for catherine
rajev friggin started laughing
which made me laugh
and we couldnt stop
and olivia was like telling God
"and please make them stop laughing cause this is supposed to be serious"

hahahah obviously we couldnt ?!
we did apologise
and rajev said it was the first time in months since he laughed
so when it came to my turn to pray
i had to pray for him
and i was like going on and on about him and laughing till all of them were telling me to shutup HA !

went choir after that and well sort-of got scolded from grace :P
had dinner with them too
hahah ate at ThaiExpress

grace
im sorry ):
for making you worry
for making you upset
for .... well anything bad that happened to you that was cause of me
i still cant get in to your livejournal
which is a good bad thing
good cause i really dont wanna know
bad cause i dont wanna know
contradicting ? i think so too :D
but im really sorry for making you worry and upset
ily loads okay
and i pinky promise wont do it again
enjoy your trip i'll see you tomorrow :D

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 22:07

Saturday 4 April 2009

if anyone would be a sweet darlg person
they'd buy me LadySov's new album for me
hahah !
ohman ): i really want it but it ain't coming to Singapore DD:

i'm trying to get it right
but it feels like i'm losing the fight
finding out where i really belong
its a cold world out there and i'm so alone

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 14:09

someone said my profile is getting boring and should change
so i did
happy now ?
lol

my hip hurts like hell thanks to yesterday
i've got scraped knees also courtesy of yesterday
but hell
it was funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn :D
hahah
it's been a dang long while since i've
- ran
- work-out
- and just basically exercised

hahah
im making myself sound like some fat lazy ass
i owe jinren his tie and dien still hasnt given me his
D:
and i also owe jinren a meal
damn , i seem to be owing jinren alot of things =/
myword....

robin's upset now
that ass is trying to be suicidal
too bad
that's my position
hahah
cheer up man ):
pretty please
ily kay ? (:

grace's is leaving on monday
i wanna go send her offfffffffffffffffffffff D:
she's being mean and doesnt want me to
idiot rights ?
hahah !
i'll try to
go plus from simei go airport very easy
use the magic train can already
hahah it ryhmes :D

edward's back up again
yay ! :D
i got my edward backkkkkkkkkkkk :DD

im clueless about sammy D:
i havent been a good friend to her
tsk. hope you're alright darlg

jade's upset toooooo
D: ily darlgggggggg be happy okay ? (:

shuxin ?
muahahahahah things'll work out somehow

dionne ? ohman she lives in her own world :DD
hahaha

im like dedicating this post to everyone :P

and youuuuuuuuuu [well you know who you are]
hah
i wanna go back to yesterday
when we were happier and there wasnt any gap inbetween
gahhhhhh.
i wanna walk to school with you on wednesdays and fridays
i wanna give you your dumb chocolates so that i can steal them back
i wanna get your calls and all again
i dont want this horrible silence inbetween
i actually friggin miss you annoying me

but i dont know what's going on in your mind.
ugh.

now jade's gonna go "screw him. i hope he f***ing dies"
or something like that
hah !

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 12:27

Friday 3 April 2009

alright
no more depressing stuff
i shall be happy now

shuxin , jade, dionne
thanks you guys for putting up with me
and all my crap and bullshit
i know i haven't been around lately
hahah but you guys always let me cry on your shoulder
.... im making you guys sound so man... hahah
thanks again
im much better now
between me and him
i guess we're a little confused larhhs
and it's FORGIVABLE
F-O-R-G-I-V-A-B-L-E
hahah
cause we do have a really really weird relationship
hahah
eitherways thanks you all
ily alot alot alot
always always always
okay ?(:
hahah

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 20:09