mystery♥.
.
dream like dreamers do♥.
in my ears .
just another crush♥.
,
And speak in a language you can understand.
" is a photodiary I've decided to initiate, compiling day to day events with a snapshot of a moment of the day.
snapshot of a minute in my life, that caught my eye, with a caption of sorts, either explaining the picture or describing my emotions.
I have been told that I never really open up myself to others, and more often than not, I leave people wondering what I truly feel or giving them confusing signals.
Thus, this photodiary, is in a sense, a window to my head.
All my thoughts, my emotions, everything I usually keep out-of-sight, will be put under here, other then my regular blog posts, which are usually not very informative.
Welcome, to the chaos and mess in my head.
I hope you'd find something that speaks to you, whether to pull you through something difficult, or to relate to.
Saturday, 28 February 2009
you know i'm running
you know i haven't accepted reality
you know i haven't forgiven myself
oh, you know it all don't you ?so what happens next ?
i know i'm still running
i know i'm not strong enough to face reality
i know i've forgiven him
i know i still can't let goso why won't i just let go ?
the nightmares still haunts my sleep
his face still appears in my dreams
i'm so afriad of the future
i don't want to let gowhen will i break free ?
reality mixes with fantasy
i barely know when i'm awake
the roads before me, i'm tempted to go back
back down from where i've broken free fromreturn from whence thou has come'd
remember the ruby-red liquid ?
remember the relief it had brought ?
remember the ugly scars that remained ?
can i have it back ?giving up the struggle, let the darkness appear
i'm trying hard
but it's like i'm losing once more
disappearing from reality
i welcome pain"so what's your decision sweetheart?"
he asked showing me two roads that await
so we said; thee, thee, hear. 00:27
Friday, 27 February 2009
i completed my memoir essay today
it was painful
and i realized the deadline is 1 may
!@##$^
make me rush for no reason
zomg
i kept putting the essay off
cause i was damn scared to finish it
):
im going to burn it after i submit it
cause it im so scared to start writing again):
when i completed the retarded thing
i was like damn drained and tired
and upset for some abnormal reason
so she hid herself from prying eyes and started to cryLOL
like seriously
yeah im retarded:P
jerome and terrance came today
hahah haven't seen them in a long while :P
but they're still mean either way
i miss you robin)):
argh.
i miss everyone in the club
except well.....
aiya you know larhhs
heheh
shddup edward(:
stop giving me that look
ohman..........
holidays i must must must meet you all
lol
so we said; thee, thee, hear. 21:08
Thursday, 26 February 2009
I am driving in my car up highway one
I left LA without telling anyone
There were people who needed something from me
But I am sure they’ll get along fine on their own
Oh this state of ecstasy
Nothing but road could ever give to me
This liberty wind in my face
And I’m giggling again for no reason
I am dancing with my friends in elation
We’ve taken adventures to new levels of fun
I can feel the bones are smiling in my body
I can see the meltings of inhibition
Oh this state of ecstasy
Nothing but road could ever give to me
This liberty wind in my face
And I’m giggling again for no reason
I’m reeling jubilation
Triumphant in delight
I am at home in this high five
And I’m smiling for no reason
I am sitting at the set of cali sun
We’ve gotten quiet for its’ last precious seconds
I can feel the salt of the sea on my skin
And we still hear the echoes of abandon
Oh this state of ecstasy
Nothing but man could ever give to me
This liberty wind in my face
And I’m giggling again for no reason
bwahahaha
i was driving tabitha and radhika madddd with this song today
well
not really the whole song
but mainly "and i'm giggling again for no reason"
hahah !
dont ask me why
but i just felt like i click with this line today :P
had english compo today
i screwed it up this time
i seriously dont think i actually put alot of effort into it
i feel like i scribbled some junk and handed it in
seriously
and if i get high marks
it's just pure dumb luck
seriouslyi saw jordan's compo [sorry if i didnt ask:P]
and i feel like he wrote it better then me
and that he would score much higher than me too
the best writers, like actors, put themselves in their characters shoesi feel like i didnt do that
but jordan did
and i swear alot of people wrote about committing suicide
[the topic was Choices]
i wrote about love
like yeah
how retarded could i get
i held back alot of emotions
):
so the story seemed unreal
really fictionalized
imma screwed gurl):
now im getting so afraid D:
it's like my memoir essay
i'm like suppose to touch up on it
but like i dont dare
cause im like damn scared i'd cry :P
and the deadline is 1 march !shit !!
opening old wounds, the bleeding starts anewthat's what i feel like whn i write the essay):
not even chocolate can make me happy now
zomg help someone):
okay
im madd
first im happy
thn i get scared
and thn i get upset
tsk.
following people are not allowed to comment on that:
[unless of course their helpful]
- edward chi
- robin teo
- mark
cause you guys are plain mean(:
sometimes
hahaha
otherwise everyone else know just how much i love my wife and sister(:
iie lurbblurbb euu worxzxzbwahahahaha !
ohman
those two people are still like giving me attitude ?
zomg
im not going to be bothered by them
i'm going to just ignore them
cause seriously
why lose sleep over such people
especially when they claim to be my friends
correct ?
muahahaha !
i know(: im smart :D
teehee
so we said; thee, thee, hear. 18:54
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
i shall post something sensible
for once in a .... well, long time
LOL
i've been doing alot of rants lately
bleahhs
full of nonsense
anyways
today's Ash Wednesday
woke up at 5.30am
zomg.
thn went back to sleep hahaha
thn michael messaged me and i woke up again
thn i decided to ignore his sms [muahahahahah]
so i went back to sleep until my phone rang for the third time
hahah !
went for 6.30am mass at Our Lady of Perpetual Sucour [correct spelling ?]
with michael and mark
do note tht me and michael suggested evening mass
the dumb mark said to go for the morning one instead
cant expect much from a parrot anyway :D hahahah !
thn we went to school
and i earned three lollipops during english class
now people, aren't you so proud of me ?
bwahahaha !
but the dumb mark took one):
he didnt want to return my tie
and i had to exchange one lollipop for MY tie
see how he bullies me ? tsktsk
dumb parrot :DD
and guess what ?
for this post
i shall.........
post some pictures ! :DD
hahaha i know very long never post already
but like whatever ? ;P
me and shuxin got bored in chinese
hey you, remember this ?remember during the december hol i went to OCH ?
thn i took pictures
bleahhs looking at them gives me the creeps):
if felix were here he'd sure talk to much sense tht it becomes unscary again:P
so we said; thee, thee, hear. 22:16
Saturday, 21 February 2009
y'know what ?
its really hard to be happy
and i suddenly freaking geel like being just another emo freak
which means....
the.....
and those....
and that....
and alll of these......
which isnt good..........
so...........
i shant
and stay happy....
ohGod help me please somebody
i'm going maddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
Nerissa [noun] : a level-headed person who always makes the wrong decisions
from the quizgalaxy.com
so we said; thee, thee, hear. 13:31
that was one big rant):
had to get it off me
ugh
im like so freaking stressed man
life sucks
i miss alot of things that i've always took for granted):
eitherways
let's look on the bright side now
shall we? (:
yeah i try
GRACE !
steamboat at my place this Sunday
dont forget:DD
after mass
so dont eat luch okay(:
i'll stuff you with food just like the last time
muahahahah !
so we said; thee, thee, hear. 13:16
piss of, why dont you?i'm so sick of it all
i never wanted to be the leader in the first place
i never said, "ohohoh! i'll be the leader!"
no.
you guys made me the leader
or have you forgotten?
so why dont you stuff the attitude
and shove it somewhere else?
i cant please everyone
i can only do what i think is best for the dumb group
and you dont know just exactly how pissed i am
one by one pissing me off
with your ******* attitudes
if you dont like it then dont do it
stop giving me shit
i dont deserve it
all you guys have to do is the work i gave you all
i have to co-ordinate, email big people and work things out with teachers
i wish i was in other groups
they're are so much more responsible
you guys dont even know how tough it is
i've got the same bloody homework as you guys
im not complaining
i've given you all so much exceptions
you said you cant use the comp
so i said fine
and gave you work that didnt need the internet
but you're still not happy
you said your comp spoilt
so i told you to use the school comp
but you're still not happy
so tell me
wht do you want me to do?
you all said you were hungry
so i said go eat
but be back in 10mins
caue im not sure whn the teacher will be do
but you guys didnt care
you guys were too shallow to think about others
you guys only thought for yourselves
hello? did it slip your minds or something?
that i havent eaten either?but then again
i guess you were too busy to think about anyone else but yourselves
i've got meetings with teachers
i've skipped my meals more then once
i'm so stressed that my injuries wont heal properly
and i keep forgetting important things
but i've never complained
i've done more than you guys
and i still have to complete my homework
almost every night im sleeping at 3
what about you guys?
yeah i've got one less subject then you all
but i still have almost the same amount of work
maybe more
and i never complained
or glared at you
or gave you attitude
so please stuff your ******* attitudes somewhere else
os just get lost
cause i dont derserve shit from you guys
so we said; thee, thee, hear. 12:43
Friday, 13 February 2009
im sadded
i screwed my other blog
now it doesnt have a tag board):
ahhhhhhhhhhh
blow the candles out, looks like a solo tonight, but i think i'll be alrightscrewit
plus i just told people to comment
dang
why dont i fix it?
im too lazy hahahah !
yeahyeah
anyways
the last few weeks have been hectic and fast
whoa man like blink and gone
shuckit
immascrewwedgurl):
everyone know you're my one regret, everyone knows you're my one weaknessbwahahahaha
i hate O's
thn again who doesnt
rawr
lets hope everyone passes shall we ?
sharonjiejie promised to bring me to bangkok is i get 12 points for my O's
hahahah
*crosses fingers*
This is the clock upon the wall
This is the story of us all
This is the first sound of a newborn child,
Before he starts to crawl
This is the war that's never won
This is a soldier and his gun
This is the mother waiting by the phone,
Praying for her son
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be
There is a drug that cures it all
Blocked by the governmental wall
We are the scientists inside the lab,
Just waiting for the call
This earthquake weather has got me shaking inside
I'm high up and dry
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be
Confess to me, every secret moment
Every stolen promise you believed
Confess to me, all that lies between us
All that lies between you and me
We are the boxers in the ring
We are the bells that never sing
There is a title we can't win no matter
How hard we might swing
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Hung upon your wall for the world to see
Pictures of you, pictures of me
Remind us all of what we used to be
so we said; thee, thee, hear. 22:45