Tuesday, 21 July 2009

gosh .
it's been really tiring
im on the verge of a mental breakdown already
D:
thursday and friday didn't go school at all
cause had veryyyyyyyyy bad headache D:
died on monday due to overload of work and notes to copy
im still dying today
gahh.
O's suck man. D:
im gonna cry soon
hahah !

gahh.
its already july
wth
more like end of july
ohman ohman ohman
tht means i have like ...
... 3 months left
argh !

freak man .
why do O's have to be start in October
argh .
how am i gonna copeeeeeeeeee ?!
gosh !
i cant i cant i friggin' cant !
=/

i think i need anti-depressents
and maybe a hell lota prayers
fag.
):

talk about self-pity.
i cant be like this man
hahah thn again no one's perfect
but still the pressure to set a good example
for others to follow sucks
BIG TIME
tsk .
andandand
i havven't really thought about my core members
gosh i swear
im gonna drop dead soon .

i really dont wish to pick someone i like
but someone He likes
im trying so hard not to judge
but it's difficult sometimes
especially when people are just ARGH !
and the worse part is
when i finally decide between two people,
let's say person A and person B, i pick person A,
person B will suddenly do something to make me stop and think
whether i mafe the right choice or not

and then i have a person C
who makes me feel really tiny and insecure
about my abilities of being a leader
and leading the group
gahh .

it's like wht i told brandon and aloysius
the other night
whatever i do
i do it for Him
so commitment to the group is one thing
and i dont really care if someone cant make it every alternate Sunday
but what i really want to see in the group
is their commitment to God
that even when they've been beaten up badly and left to die [hypothetically of course]
they'll still
turn to God no matter what
and they'll still trust Him to pull them through.
so if i've got that high expectations of them
imagine what kind of expectations i have for myself
dang.

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 21:13