Sunday, 5 February 2012

I embrace you
Although you are not that nice of a memory

It feels somewhat like after a heavy shower
With the sun peaking out weakly from behind the clouds
It's a very nostalgic feeling
With a bit of regret and relief

After thinking about it for so long
I realised that I was only holding on for the sake of holding on
Love was already lost, long gone in fact, from this relationship
Ever since you and I begin to shut each other out from each others' head

When did the love started disappearing?
I don't really know
But I know I made a lot of mistakes along the way
I tried to fix it, but maybe it was already too late
Or maybe I just don't have the energy, courage or strength to try harder

It was amazing being with you
A mind-blasting roller-coaster ride
But like a roller-coaster
One ride too many, and you'll start to get sick of it

Ash told me that there were two sides of the story
And that I should go see what the other side was first
Before passing any judgement
I can't do that, I'm too tired to try again

You and I were two very different people to begin with
It's astounding how we could last a whole year together
Without grabbing a knife and shoving it into each others' body
It's amazing how we could stand each other

I'm not
The kind of girl that you want
And you're not
The kind of guy that I want
We were mismatched in every single way
Too blinded by the fun and passion we felt
To think things through properly
We were never ever meant to be

I know if we give in now
Everyone is going to say, "I told you so!"
But I'd rather face that then to keep hurting the both of us
And if they really cared
That thought wouldn't even cross their minds anyway

I'm ending this now
Because I don't want things to get uglier then it already is
I don't want it to get to the point
Where we barely speak to each other as friends
Because we are too disgusted with each other

I am sorry
That I'm leaving you right now
When your life is in a mess
Somehow, I always leave when people's lives are in a mess

It wasn't an easy decision to make
Honestly, I've been thinking about it since you left for Australia to settle your school things
I didn't make a snap decision
Neither was it a rash one

I had sleepless nights
Missed my meals
Smoked way too much
And pretty much brought gloomy weather to Singapore

Till now I still am

I do thank my lucky stars
That somehow I've managed to find friends who care for me
Who go out of their way for me
Who are cheering me up as I figure out how to celebrate Valentine's Day as a single again

It's been quite awhile since I was single
And honestly, it scares the hell out of me
I don't know where to start from
What is a single person supposed to do to have fun
I've forgotten how to have fun without being attached

Bestf called me a player
But I honestly know that it isn't true
I just want someone who would be able to care and love me
Cause everyone knows that's a herculean task

so we said; thee, thee, hear. 03:18